The Mediation Times

I had a couple of calls this week from would-be mediators who wanted to know if I could help them decide whether they would be a good mediator or not. As I am working on a self-selection process at the moment, it is very much in my mind.

I believe that mediation should be open to anyone who has the inclination, tenacity and patience to apply themselves to developing the skills and self-awareness. I also believe that in the absence of a strong support network for newly trained mediators, it is essential that people have access to some guidance on whether they have a good chance of being a successful mediator. Good training is an investment and that is only the start. Most mediators should count on 3 – 4 year to build a practice.

Then someone sent a link to an amazing video of Danny MacAskill “doing his stuff”. As I watched it, I was asking myself, “how would anyone know that that guy was going to be that good at that? Not just good but masterful. The answer that came into my head was “passion, commitment to practice, persistence and personal risk taking. They seem pretty much what you need to have if you are going to be a great mediator. See if you agree.

Don’t miss essential (mediator) skills such as

• back-pedaling (!)
• bridging the gap
• holding steady
• momentum
• treading a fine line

For me, this is also a wonderful metaphor for what it feels like when you know you are on your game.

Watch it alone and turn up the volume because the music is really great.

Great camera work and equally great editing.

Thanks to Valeria Maltoni at Conversation Agent for spotting it.

from → Videos, Welcome

Thanks to Anastasia Pryanikova at Lawsagna for the link to this great essay by Lera Boroditsky on how the language we speak affects the way we think.

I found the essay particularly interesting because language is something I pay special attention to when speaking or training in English, with people whose first language is not English. I know that I consciously change the way in which I speak in order to take into account what I know about the language and culture. When it concerns a language I don’t speak, then I pay attention to the symbols and stories of the culture in order to gain a sense of certain cues.

I pay equal attention when I am mediating and other languages are ‘in the room’ because it is an important part of building trust and rapport. Thanks to Lera’s research I now know better why that is useful and effective.

There is a balance because when people learn English they also learn our patterns of thought and idiosyncrasies and one can try too hard. How do I know that I have the balance right? When I can say something I think should be funny and people laugh.

Why does it matter? I find that when people have a different perpective on for example time and amount it affects the whole pace and emphasis of the negotiations. Sense of time is crucial to understanding the effect of events and actions that form part of the dispute and amount affects the perception of value.

The candidates who attended the latest foundation skills training course at the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators last week will be revising hard over the weekend before they take the assessment next week. Here are a few tips for your opening/introduction and the joint meeting.

1. Remember your breathing. Your breathing affects your heart rhythms which affect everyone in the room. Breathing helps you to manage your voice. Being aware of your breathing and tone helps you to convey confidence and connection with the others in the room. Tone, pace and volume can contribute significantly to creating trust and rapport. There are some great exercises for a voice workout devised by Peter Levin and Graham Topping in their book Perfect Presentations! You can view a sample on Google Books.
2. Practice the first two or three sentences in a warm, energetic and confident tone. It will help you to maintain momentum and keep your confidence levels up.
3. Have a checklist not a script. If you are reading a script then you are not looking at the people in the room and you are not building rapport as quickly as you might. Reading from a script often results in a more monotone voice.This is definitely a case of it is not what you do it is the way that you do it. The assessors will be looking for rapport building skills in you and increasing trust in you from the parties.
4. Pause for thought. When people see you thinking it creates confidence. It also gives them time to register what you have just said. Since most of what you say during your introduction is important, it is useful to give the parties time to consider the content.
5. Imagine you are hosting a dinner party. Hosting is a significant part of being a good mediator: Looking after the needs of the “guests”,  arranging the seating effectively, listening for connections and common ground and helping each of your “guests” look good, contribute and feel appreciated. As a host you are in charge of the context but not the content of the conversation.
6. Focus on the “others” and it will help you forget that you are nervous.
7. And finally, do remember the assessors want you to pass!

Good luck!

I am often asked which is the best commercial mediation skills training course. My answer is that you will be hard pushed to find better than the course run by the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators.

At this point I acknowledge a potential bias since I have been part of the faculty since its inception in 2003. However, I can honestly say that I would not be part of the faculty if I did not think it an excellent course.

When enquiring, you might ask for some examples of feedback from previous participants. There may even be some who will be willing to speak with you about their experience.

In terms of success rates for accreditation: The reasons for not being accredited are either lack of confidence or a surfeit of confidence. The former prevents people from being their best and the latter often results in “reverting to type” when under pressure of exam conditions.

In my next post I have some tips for dealing with the assessment.

Title: Mediation Foundation Skills Training
Location: Bloomsbury, London
Link out: Click here
Description: Foundation skills training. 5 day course leading to CIArb Accredited Mediator on successful completion of assessment
Start Date: 2009-11-10
End Date: 2009-11-18



This is a great video about a new project in Calcutta by The Strengths Project run by The Centre for Positive Psychology

Readers of my blog and articles will know that I mediate and train from a “strengths” perspective. This is the joy of mediation: we can each operate as a mediator in a way that uses the best of our talents and experience and the outcomes are good and different. It is also the reason why I write so frequently about not putting mediation skills into a box too early in the development of the profession. I know 25 years might seem a long time but in truth it is a nanosecond in terms of understanding what we do and how we do it well. I am reminded of something that made a great impression on me when I learned it:  95% of our understanding of the brain has come from research undertaken in the last 10 years. Positive psychology is a result of that research.

What “working from strengths” means to my practice is that I try and find the strengths of all the people in the mediation room and support them in doing what they can do best so they can win. Winning means different things to different people.

One of the leaders in the field of strengths is Dr Alex Linley. he has developed a new and very entertaining test to decide your Pleasure Quotient.  Magnum Ice Cream have packaged the test into an interactive web site experience. It is fun, the site is visually gorgeous and the test is based on pioneering research. FAB. Don’t be taken in by the fun element. This is a serious piece of work and I find it very clever indeed. See what you think.  Off to buy my Magnum now… and then I’ll tell you why I think strengths are so important for your business.

My thanks to Des O’Dowd for sharing the link.

Here’s a great source of research for ideas about future trends. Highly regarded and extremely accessible, I recommend it for those of you looking for substance for talks, presentations and training.

The Tomorrow Network

I am not fond of acronyms but this is an exception. “Glimpses” is a database of research on the following topics which all seem to be equally relevant for mediators and business.

Globalisation
Life course
Individuals, identity and values
Media and technology
Politics and government
Social exclusion
Employment
Sustainability

This weekend I attended a wonderful guitar concert in a small village hall tucked away in the Yorkshire countryside. Eduardo Niebla and Carl Herring. The style was a mixture of Flamenco, Jazz and World and the playing was outstanding from both.

During the playing I noticed something very special: The younger less experienced player (Carl Herring) was doing a remarkable job of playing “second fiddle” to the maestro. He was gracious and respectful to the more experienced “star”. Furthermore, the tension created by the restraint added something very special to the music and the performance of both artists. They played superbly together. There was plenty of room for two personalities to shine but there was only room for one ego.

It put me in mind of the challenge to many of peer review,  co-mediation and mentoring and how few “senior mediators” really take that seriously. I understand why at least for the most part. Co-mediation is seen as an expensive option even though it is a superb option for the parties and pays dividends on the investment when done well. Peer review is simply scary for most and very few reviewers have a structured or substantial approach which gives the reviewed concrete outcomes. Mentoring is a serious commitment which should not be taken lightly or when the diary is over full. However, I have heard many speak of the “apprentice from hell”. These are just-trained-mediators who believe they are now certified and therefore no longer have to hold back. So, if you are an aspiring mediator and you would like to see the best at work then you will need to convey to your chosen “star” a sense of certainty that you will not wade in with your 20+ years experience as a lawyer and 40 hours foundation training in mediation.

Over the years I have often been the more experienced mediator in the room playing second to another and I find it a remarkable experience with a really valuable quality about it. It helps sharpens my skills in observation, strategy and improves my ability to invisibly support a trusted colleague and that is something I can take with me into the next mediation as part of the skill of demonstrating even-handedness.

In anticipation of the clamour about the need for high standards in training and the need for proper professional development, over the last 6 months I have consulted with my colleagues in my chambers (In Place of Strife – The Mediation Chambers) about a radically new CPD programme which proposes 210 hours of CPD in a 3 year cycle. This is an extraordinary amount of cpd when you think that the SRA require solicitors to complete 16 hours per year and the Bar Standards Board require 12 hours per year after an initial qualifying period after call.

The new programme is designed to encourage a two way flow of learning and development and places a high value on reflective practice and mentoring of aspiring mediators.

• active learning – eg. attending training and cpd events
• reflective learning – eg. writing, contributing to the development of mediation practice, retreats, marketing (yes marketing!), business development
• reflective practice – eg. peer reviews, mentoring, co-mediation with post mediation reviews and playing “second fiddle” to a junior mediator
• contribution to the profession – eg. speaking engagements (more points when you speak outside the profession), attendance at board meetings or participation in organisational activities dedicated to mediation

The full programme will be published shortly on the In Place of Strife web site. Drop me a line if you would like to know when it is published.

May 21 (Bloomberg) — Delphi Corp., its lenders, General Motors Corp. and the U.S. Treasury Department’s auto task force were ordered by the judge overseeing the auto-parts maker’s bankruptcy case to try to resolve their disputes in mediation.

“While the court is satisfied that the referred parties are conducting themselves in good faith regarding the subject matters referred to the mediator,” U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert D. Drain in New York said in an order yesterday, “the court concludes that mediation may contribute to a consensual resolution of these Chapter 11 cases.” …read more

Matthew Nimetz, the mediator appointed by the United Nations to resolve the long-standing dispute between Athens and Skopje over the use of the name Macedonia, is to visit the two capitals in June 2009 to assess the countries’ readiness to seek a solution, according to Greek media reports… read more