Sometimes our intentions don’t quite have the effects that we expected. Nevertheless, our intentions do have an influence on the effects as in the visual illustrations below.
It is a conundrum: we can never have total control of the outcome: we only have possibility for consistent behaviour which builds trust and can be a key component of regaining trust if the effects turn out to be not quite what was intended.
When people are demonising each other in a heated dispute, they nearly always see the worst intentions in the other even if at the time of the event they bore the effects more compassionately.
It is one thing to explain your intentions and have them understood. It is another to accept that the effects were damaging for the other. It is not about blame.