In September I am co-hosting the Mediation Business Summit with Tammy Lenski . We are really looking forward to it. We have some great small business coaches and consultants lined up to help conflict resolution professionals take their business to the next level.

I'm not very technical...

Since we announced the telesummit we have had a lot of questions about how it will work over the three days and some questions about using the teleseminar format. So we have decided to run a free demo and Q&A session on Wednesday 4th August where you can try it out and ask questions about the event.

Tammy and I think it will be a great opportunity to connect with anyone attending and anyone thinking about attending.

So head over to the Mediation Business Summit site to register for the free teleseminar.

Denise Wakeman speaker at the Mediation Business Summit

If you search for “how to build a business blog” then the very first site listed on Google.com is www.buildabetterblog.com a blog hosted by Denise Wakeman. I’m not surprised because Denise has been practising what she preaches for a very long time. In fact, Denise has (at least) three blogs: Biz Tips Blog , Build a Better Blog and Denise Wakeman – The Blog Squad . Each has a different focus and each is crammed with useful content which can be easily assimilated and implemented by the newcomer and the experienced blogger alike.

I am in awe of how frequently and consistently Denise posts savvy and engaging ideas about building your online presence through blogging and how to build your blog through integration with Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. When you read what she writes on any of these platforms, you soon get a sense of her energy, credibility and her personality.

I am sure these are qualities that every mediator and ADR professional would like to be known for, online and offline. Denise says that blogging is the one way you can present a public persona that is ‘congruent and authentic’ and then she tells you how to do that.

Dig a little deeper into Denise’s online presence and you will find a great ebook produced by the Personality Project called Women of Personality. A Compilation of 40 Extraordinary Women Sharing Their Stories of Success. It is now in its second edition and Denise is featured as one of the 40 extraordinary women. In the book, Denise talks about how she is naturally a ‘behind the scenes person’ and that until she started her own business, that was the way she liked it. I remembered how ‘behind the scenes’ I liked to be when I started out in my own business, and like Denise, I instinctively jumped on the internet when there were not so many people to talk to, very few had an email address and all we had was a shaky 56k modem. Like her, I just knew this internet thing was a place I wanted to be.

Looking back, I started blogging via telex in 1984, with a weekly newsletter and analysis about my industry and it allowed me to “get in front of” influential people in my organisation without the scary part. Looking back, it worked and probably because I thought it was only being read by a few people that I knew very well. I had no idea that people were distributing it much more widely and if I had I probably would have clammed up! Just occasionally, ignorance is bliss.

Today it’s different. The ‘noise’ out there is much greater and for some starting out or looking to take their business to the next level it can be overwhelming. So much so, some people just don’t know where to start. One of the challenges is personal marketing and branding.

In starting her own business Denise realised that

Being the sole person in my business put me in a new position. I had to be “out there”. And the internet helped me do that. I wasn’t shy online.

I think many of us feel shy about marketing ourselves. It is so much easier to do it for others! Marketing is the number one challenge I talk about with people who contact me wanting to know how I managed to build my practice. The good news is that the social media tools that we have today allow you to do both: market yourself and market others.

It is one thing to read what people write and to get a sense of their expertise and the effectiveness of their advice and experience. It is even better to hear them for yourself. That’s why Tammy Lenski and I have brought together our choice of the best and most relevant  business management, marketing and social media voices from inside and outside the dispute resolution world. This is our selection of people who have impressed us with their energy, credibility and personality and who know how to communicate their expertise in a way which is relevant for building a successful conflict resolution practice.

The Mediation Business Summit is accessible via web and telephone from 16 – 18 September 2010.

If you haven’t signed up yet, then you are missing out on some great free gifts to get you started. There are two from Denise: an audio chapter from her renowned programme: How Drive Quality Traffic to Your Blog ($97 value) and a bonus chapter with 19 specific tactics for driving traffic to your blog. These will be available to you as soon as you have completed the sign up process. And you can grab your badge too.

See you at the summit!

Mediation Business Summit 16 - 18 September 2010

]]> http://blog.amandabucklow.co.uk/2010/06/30/denise-wakeman-mediation-business-summit/feed/ 2 http://blog.amandabucklow.co.uk/2010/06/11/effective-listening-with-a-talking-stick/ http://blog.amandabucklow.co.uk/2010/06/11/effective-listening-with-a-talking-stick/#comments Fri, 11 Jun 2010 15:46:33 +0000 Amanda http://blog.amandabucklow.co.uk/?p=1220

I learned the power of a talking stick many years ago. It was one of the most important insights into good conversation I ever had. I have used one in mediations and I would like to use one more often – simply because it works every time. I know my colleague Alan Limbury in Australia will shout “here! here!” if he reads this. Alan has the most beautiful aboriginal talking stick which he takes with him everywhere. I have asked him to find me one just like it but I know they generally find their way to you, rather than the other way around! When the right one finds it’s way to me it might be made of cedar wood.

Here is a video of Dr Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) explaining why he thinks using a talking stick is amazing.

We have just 250 tickets for the first ever business summit tailored specifically for conflict resolution professionals and registration is now open.

This is a not-to-be-missed marketing and business development event which is innovative and affordable fits the bill perfectly for those who wish to refocus or kick-start their ADR practice.

11 remarkable speakers have been carefully selected by Tammy and me for their engaging style, knowledge and experience which, from our experience, we believe is directly relevant to building a strong business in our field.

When I started my full-time mediation practice in the mid 90’s, I wish there had been this kind of resource to get me going; to challenge and support my thinking about how, what and why. It is great to be a pioneer but sometimes it is equally rewarding to build on what others have done and miss out on the not so great learning experiences!

This is a unique opportunity to hear what other pioneers have done and take the best and most relevant advice to build your own unique brand and business which speaks to your own strengths.

Do join us and register now. On completing your sign-up you will receive a fantastic collection of bonus gifts from our speakers to introduce you to their great advice and perspective on building a business in a digital world.

I found this terrific interview by Katie Couric of CBS News with Ellen Galinsky on a new book about life skills for children called Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. Happily, the ability to resolve conflict is included (you will find the reference at about 32 minutes). It also echoes my own research into the skills of a mediator which place competence in the skills Galinsky talks about at the top of the list.

The book has been called “the best thing since Emotional Intelligence”. In the book, Galinsky identifies 7 life skills:

1. Focus and Self Control – pay attention and the ability to inhibit the desire to go on automatic.
2. Perspective Taking – knowing what others think, feel. Empathy is part of that but Ellen goes further to include the Theory of Mind (understanding what is going on in other people’s minds).
3. Communicating – the ability to put aside your own thoughts in order to understand the other, knowing how your words will be heard and know how to frame your own words so that you will be understood.
4. Making Connections – the ability to see the connections and the ability to make unusual connections which is the basis of creativity
5. Critical Thinking – looking for valid and accurate information – how to challenge and discern what is right and useful.
6. Taking on Challenges – resilience, risk taking, having a growth mindset, not giving up when that would be the easy thing to so.
7. Self Directed, Engaged Learning – curiosity, “I don’t know everything” mindset, I am not the expert, humility.

The things that stand out for me in making my own connections from this interview to my work as a mediator is that I notice the lack of these skills in my work and it is increasingly common with younger people. This suggests a change in the education system which may have something to do with the narrow focus of education to achieve higher levels of literacy and numeracy and the emphasis on measuring those to meet political agendas. The laudable intention seems to have had unintended consequences.

Despite all the books and courses on communicating skills, mindfulness, collaboration, my experience is that they are expressed less often in practice. Most of all, I notice how difficult it is for people to be empathetic as they struggle with their conviction about their rights or for them to be curious or to make unusual connections unless they are coached and encouraged to do so. I also agree with Galinsky when she says in the interview that it is never too late to learn these skills. They are essential skills not just for life but for dealing with the challenges that face us from the workplace to our relationships with other countries.

So to my mind whether we are mediator, lawyer, manager or employee we all need to

1. Show up and pay attention.
2. Put aside your own thoughts in order to understand the other and make a habit of seeing other perspectives.
3. Be humble and curious because whenever we start to think that we know best, or there is nothing to learn, we fail to inhibit the desire to ‘go on automatic’.
4. Practice giving praise and encouragement but not about the people themselves but rather on the approaches and strategies they use.

I think giving praise and encouragement to “grown ups’ is one of the most difficult things to do well without sounding patronising or inferring labels. Appreciation of effort and outcomes is a huge part of keeping people engaged and it requires real skill to do that.

Here’s the video.

Watch CBS News Videos Online
Ellen Galinsky, president and co-founder of the Families in Work Institute speaks to Katie Couric about her new book, “Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs.”