The 4th CIArb Mediator Symposium is coming up on 19th October in London. Past events have been extremely popular because of the combination of thoughtful opinion, a choice of 6 practical workshops and networking.

This year I will be doing two workshops which are really focused on extending skills.

The first is The Myth of Reality Testing with Charles Middleton-Smith. The arises from a number of observations: the way in which we simplify things in the pursuit of ‘tools for the toolbox’ and misconstrue the intention: increased resistance from parties to what we call reality testing and the observation that mediations are taking longer to settle and it is tempting for mediators to use what we call reality testing with some force. I realise this is a ‘holy cow’ of mediation!

The second is Improvisation Skills for Mediators with Sartaj Garewal. I have written often on the relationship of mediation to jazz, music, photography and the benefit of adopting some of the approaches that musicians and actors learn to extend their skills. I was very fortunate to learn some of these skills from a master of improvisation, the late Ken Campbell. Sartaj Garewal is a popular actor who has also worked with me on other mediation projects. Concurrently with his acting commitments, he offers coaching in presentation and performance skills.

Here are the descriptions and if you are interested in attending, you can see the full programme here and you can register online here.

The Myth of Reality Testing:

This workshop proposes that reality testing as a means of engaging the parties in a desire to settle the case is a myth and that the approaches generally practised by mediators in the name of reality testing can undermine successful outcomes. Drawing on insights from practical experience and research in the fields of behavioural science, neuroscience and psychology, we explore the relevance of mediator skill and experience, commercial, economic and political contexts and how and why the pursuit of tools for the toolbox and techniques to be deployed has reduced reality testing to something which is increasingly counter-productive.

The workshop examines the proposition through examples and discussion. Participants will have the opportunity to complete exercises to develop their personal style for exploring assumptions and effective risk assessment.

Improvisation Skills for Mediators

Prepare, prepare, prepare! Have a plan, give the parties structure and always be at the ready to think of a new plan!

The only thing a mediator can be certain of is that the mediation day will be a day of uncertainty and surprises. Not all of them welcome.

The art of improvisation is extremely useful for mediators. It is the capacity to build on whatever is presented to you to keep momentum and maintain a safe environment. Looking “where you are going” and responding in the moment is the nature of improvisation. Leaning into uncertainty, managing your responses and maintaining equilibrium or ‘deliberate calm’ helps bring a feeling of comfort to the parties. That capacity is also the mark of an experienced mediator.

This workshop is predominantly ‘hands on’ to help you improve your skills and confidence: skills you can use tomorrow.

Amanda and Sartaj will reprise active listening, reframing and rapport building skills. The workshop offers you an opportunity to recalibrate and expand your understanding and effective practice of those skills, in the moment.

Guest post by Simon Howarth, Director of Teviot Associates Ltd

Earlier this year Simon attended the Foundation Commercial Mediation Skills training course which I teach with Charles Middleton-Smith at the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators in London.

One of the learning goals of the course is understanding how you can use your new skills ‘from tomorrow’ whilst you build and develop your mediation practice. We say that marketing and education for key business groups in your network is absolutely key. As part of his marketing and education programme, Simon produces a weekly ‘tip’ via email where he applies the mediation approach to areas relevant to his market. They are really good. So good, I asked Simon if he would post his latest tip here on my blog.

I once had occasion to take a photograph of one part of the chemical plant I was responsible for, whilst preparing for a site open day.  I then took a look at the photo whilst sitting in the office later that day and it’s fair to say I was less than impressed!

The photograph showed an extruder, a key piece of process equipment, which I looked at at least once a day as I walked through the plant.  What amazed me was how dirty, untidy and generally uncared for the equipment and it’s general area looked in the photograph.  As I examined the photo I realised that by viewing the extruder in this way, whilst sitting in my office, I was seeing it (or even looking at it) as a visitor might do when viewing it for the first time.  It certainly wasn’t the impression of our operation I wanted to give my friends and family, let alone the local community!

Needless to say, a review of the maintenance and housekeeping procedures associated with that area followed, however this made me think about the concept of ‘Visitors eyes’

In my mind Visitor’s eyes can be quite powerful in two distinct ways:

• As in the case above, they will see things that everyday familiarity either prevents us from seeing or makes us complacent to.  A different perspective can very often lead to a different awareness and a step change in performance.
• Alternatively they can bring our attention to things that we were completely unaware of.  Visitor’s eyes can often hold up the metaphorical mirror and provide feedback about things that to the outsider are quite obvious but to us are completely new information.  Armed with this new information we can decide to make important changes to the ‘status quo’.

To my mind the Visitor’s eye view, be it literal or metaphorical, will provide insights which can yield benefits to businesses when considering any of:-  Physical facilities, Business Processes, Personal Behaviours / Leadership style.

How could you or your business benefit from a pair of Visitor’s eyes?

Simon Howarth
Director

Carol Roth’s new book The Entrepreneur Equation has just found a special place on my very small shelf of un-put-downable books. I have read it cover to cover and here is my one sentence take on it:

Carol Roth has achieved the impossible: she has made ‘pull no punches reality testing’ exciting and inspiring.

My home, office (and bedroom!) are full of books. Before you ask, yes! I have read them all. No, I don’t always get to the end of every single book although I do persist, sometimes past the point of complete energy drain in the hope that there is a point just around the corner.  Not so the Entrepreneur Equation.

Carol guides the reader through the building of the most important equation any aspiring business owner should try to (re)solve. She has also made it OK to say “running a business is not for me”. In a world where self-employed status is universally considered the holy grail of freedom and independence, which after 20 years I know it is not, it really had to be said in a way that people could relate to and without annihilating the spirit and motivation of the reader. After 20 years and three recessions, I have learned something new too!

What do I really like about the book?

• Carol approaches the subject just like you might approach reality testing in a mediation. You have to build the capacity for realisation with the parties and occasionally just say it like it is. Timing is everything. This book is quite simply a treasure trove of reality testing techniques.
• Carol builds trust from the first page. Not just through her credentials (which are impressive) but by telling great stories we might all recognise and relate to.
• She is American. The book is truly international. Not many business books have achieved that.
• It is absolutely relevant for mediators.
• This is the best book I have read on entrepreneurship and I am going to include it in course materials for trainee mediators on all future courses to support the sessions we do on building your practice.

It would have been easy to write the next ‘how to succeed in 10 easy steps’ but this is worth much, much more, especially if you are thinking about starting a business and equally if your existing business could do with a makeover.

Why is that so important? How is that consistent with her passion for building business? And mine too for that matter. Simply because a significant part of the world economy is in the hands of entrepreneurs and small business but progress will be exceedingly slow if over 90% of new businesses continue to fail within 5 years of startup.

You may not like everything you learn; you may be surprised at how you feel after completing her assessment of your motivations and resources to build your personal Entrepreneur Equation; you may even think she is painting a harsh picture of what it takes but you will thank her and you will not regret reading the book.

A special note for my colleagues: This is essential reading for mediators. So often, mediators miss the point: that when they start out in the business of being a mediator, they are starting out in a business. It seems obvious but obviously not if the emails I receive from many seeking help in getting their practice going are anything to go by! So many expect to be doing more of what they love doing/are good at. They don’t realise that it requires a whole new approach to life, work and the universe! There is no river of mediation work.

Carol has some great offers on the book and you should check out her site to pre-order the book which will be published on 22 March but you will have to hurry because the special offers are only valid until 18 February. I love the fact that international orders catered for. Well done Carol!

During this week Carol has pledged to match pre-orders with donations to Score to help them on their way to supporting 1 million new businesses by 2017.

And I love the doll so I have ordered mine and can’t wait for it to arrive.

For those of you who have been looking forward to the next Cafe Mediate podcast – here it is! This edition is also a video podcast which you can watch below or at Jeff’s website . You will find the audio version at it’s usual home on iTunes.

With Jeff Thompson and Amanda Bucklow

In this episode of the Cafe Mediate podcast, Amanda Bucklow and Jeff Thompson talk about recent and upcoming developments in Europe and the USA concerning the mandatory use of mediation prior to litigation and explore the implications for the development of mediation generally.

With a happy nod to the festive season, Jeff and Amanda offer their ideas on the perfect holiday gift for a mediator.

For the mediator who has everything...

Here are the details of Jeff’s ideas.

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Click the images to go to the websites to purchase the books.

Three Cups of Tea
by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

Three Cups of Tea

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Discernment by the Venerable Yifa published by Lantern Books. Jeff has written a review of the book which can be found on Mediate.com

Discernment

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ABCs of Conflict Resolution by Victoria Pynchon

ABCs of Conflict Resolution

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The No Asshole Rule by Robert I. Sutton

The No Asshole Rule

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A brand new iPad

A brand new iPad

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A wireless headset so you don’t get pulled over by NYPD or any other PD for that matter! Jeff says he won’t be able to get you out of that mess.

Hands free headset

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Or try this rather amazing one from Jabra

Jabra Stone Bluetooth Headset

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Amanda's Letter to Santa

Amanda’s gift ideas

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Heartmath – emWave^®

emWave® for Mac and PC

This is a marvelous piece of software for developing strategies to deal with stress and build resilience. Based on scientific research and used by many professionals in many sectors. For more on the science.

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Moleskine® notebooks – I use these for all my mediations. Turn them one way for Party A and upside down for Party B

Moleskine® Notebook

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And the ultimate gift for any mediator has to be…

A 'proper' crystal ball!

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What is you ideal gift?

What is your ideal gift? It can be for yourself or for a fellow mediator. We would love to hear what they are. Do post your ideas in the comments box below.

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For more about the judgment in the Italian case about whether the obligation to mediate before starting court proceedings is in breach of Article 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights, you can read the judgment here.

To read a copy of the recent Report on Alternative Dispute Resolution: Mediation and Conciliation LRC 98-2010 in Ireland which can be summarised thus:

The report recommends that legislation be enacted setting out framework for mediation and conciliation, including key principles such as; they are voluntary processes; the parties control them; confidentiality of the processes is required; and their quality must be assured by clearly stated standards.

By the way, I lied about the number of pages! It is only 247 not 267

There are times when you just don’t feel inspired to write. I have had a patch like that and so my blog has been a bit thin for new material.  Then I reconnected with someone I admire.

About 5 years ago I went to an evening seminar in London given by a guy name Nic Askew. I had come across a video of his on the web somewhere and really liked his unique way of making short films which brought out the real essence of a person. His style is both intense and gentle at the same time.  I can’t remember what made me decide to go – curiosity most likely since I am almost terminally curious!

Through his interviewing, camera and editing and his guitar playing, Nic brings an interesting tone to his film making. I hired him to do a video and it was very good. We lost touch but I found him again and he told me that he had moved to the States. I am really pleased to see his work is flourishing there and I want to share a couple of his recent films on two important concepts for mediators, coaches, and others. Curiosity and Non-Judgment.

The first features Seth Godin and the second David Roche. I think they are beautiful and moving films. What do you think?

Thanks Nic, for inspiring me to write again!

CURIOSITY from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

THE SECOND GLANCE from Nic Askew on Vimeo.