Healing from the heart

On Thursday evening I attended a presentation by two extraordinary people from Sierra Leone. Paramount Chief Alfred Banya who is the Chair of Fambul Tok’s Moyamba District Executive Committee and his sister, Micheala Ashwood who is the National Coordinator of Fambul Tok’s growing network of peace mothers’ groups.

They told a remarkable story about how the slow process of rebuilding fractured communities after the civil war is being supported by the simple act of storytelling around a bonfire. ‘Holding the space so people can talk.”

Of course, it is not a process that guarantees success, but successful it is by any measure.

It reminded me how important it is for all human beings to have the chance to tell their story of how the dispute has affected them. In a moving video presentation, people maimed and bereft of family and friends as a result of the atrocities carried out by their neighbours and family members were able to forgive, if not forget. Storytelling can achieve that kind of reconciliation and there is a place for it in all disputes and conflict.

We shouldn’t lose sight of this and make the mediation process so focussed on money, legal merits or outcome that we forget the deeply human need to share stories of disappointment, betrayal, lost hope and humiliation with our fellow human beings, especially with those we feel need to know.

In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you. -Mortimer J. Adler, philosopher, educator and author (1902-2001)

This summer I bought a Kindle: I succumbed only to reconcile the conflict between how many books I can read in two weeks and the weight of luggage allowed on most airlines! I loved it from the moment I unpacked it. More interestingly, my reading habits have changed. I didn’t expect that.

I am trying to decide whether I am more or less discerning about what I read. The jury is still out.

What I do know is that I can get hold of information that I need much more quickly and not just books. PDFs of articles and research papers can easily be turned into ‘Kindle ready documents’ via the free conversion service which is almost instant. Just email the pdf to your Kindle email address with ‘convert’ in the subject line.

However, the most compelling feature for me, which beats even the speed of delivery, is the clippings feature. I can mark a passage and that passage is saved in my clippings folder, fully referenced. This has not only added ease and efficiency to my work and writing, it has reduced my stress levels. Now, I can mark up ideas and organise them so that when I need them I can find them and I can include the proper attribution.

Making a proper attribution or giving credit for great work is deeply important to me. I know how hard it is to organise thoughts and write them down so they will stand scrutiny. I will hunt high and low for the part of the book which has influenced me – even if I have developed or reworked the idea. However, given the number of books and articles I read, it is sometimes a  struggle to remember where and by whom. I will include a book rather than leave it out, if I am not sure.

I write to encourage people to think more deeply about what we do and why we do it. I am deeply appreciative of those who have worked hard to clarify their own thoughts to the point that it has real relevance for me and I want to thank them. I do get fed up with people who partly rework my articles and research and don’t mention the contribution that I have or anyone else has made to their thinking or teaching.

I can’t do anything about the behaviour of others but I can make sure I am better at doing it myself.

Thanks Kindle.

The 4th CIArb Mediator Symposium is coming up on 19th October in London. Past events have been extremely popular because of the combination of thoughtful opinion, a choice of 6 practical workshops and networking.

This year I will be doing two workshops which are really focused on extending skills.

The first is The Myth of Reality Testing with Charles Middleton-Smith. The arises from a number of observations: the way in which we simplify things in the pursuit of ‘tools for the toolbox’ and misconstrue the intention: increased resistance from parties to what we call reality testing and the observation that mediations are taking longer to settle and it is tempting for mediators to use what we call reality testing with some force. I realise this is a ‘holy cow’ of mediation!

The second is Improvisation Skills for Mediators with Sartaj Garewal. I have written often on the relationship of mediation to jazz, music, photography and the benefit of adopting some of the approaches that musicians and actors learn to extend their skills. I was very fortunate to learn some of these skills from a master of improvisation, the late Ken Campbell. Sartaj Garewal is a popular actor who has also worked with me on other mediation projects. Concurrently with his acting commitments, he offers coaching in presentation and performance skills.

Here are the descriptions and if you are interested in attending, you can see the full programme here and you can register online here.

The Myth of Reality Testing:

This workshop proposes that reality testing as a means of engaging the parties in a desire to settle the case is a myth and that the approaches generally practised by mediators in the name of reality testing can undermine successful outcomes. Drawing on insights from practical experience and research in the fields of behavioural science, neuroscience and psychology, we explore the relevance of mediator skill and experience, commercial, economic and political contexts and how and why the pursuit of tools for the toolbox and techniques to be deployed has reduced reality testing to something which is increasingly counter-productive.

The workshop examines the proposition through examples and discussion. Participants will have the opportunity to complete exercises to develop their personal style for exploring assumptions and effective risk assessment.

Improvisation Skills for Mediators

Prepare, prepare, prepare! Have a plan, give the parties structure and always be at the ready to think of a new plan!

The only thing a mediator can be certain of is that the mediation day will be a day of uncertainty and surprises. Not all of them welcome.

The art of improvisation is extremely useful for mediators. It is the capacity to build on whatever is presented to you to keep momentum and maintain a safe environment. Looking “where you are going” and responding in the moment is the nature of improvisation. Leaning into uncertainty, managing your responses and maintaining equilibrium or ‘deliberate calm’ helps bring a feeling of comfort to the parties. That capacity is also the mark of an experienced mediator.

This workshop is predominantly ‘hands on’ to help you improve your skills and confidence: skills you can use tomorrow.

Amanda and Sartaj will reprise active listening, reframing and rapport building skills. The workshop offers you an opportunity to recalibrate and expand your understanding and effective practice of those skills, in the moment.

Guest post by Simon Howarth, Director of Teviot Associates Ltd

Earlier this year Simon attended the Foundation Commercial Mediation Skills training course which I teach with Charles Middleton-Smith at the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators in London.

One of the learning goals of the course is understanding how you can use your new skills ‘from tomorrow’ whilst you build and develop your mediation practice. We say that marketing and education for key business groups in your network is absolutely key. As part of his marketing and education programme, Simon produces a weekly ‘tip’ via email where he applies the mediation approach to areas relevant to his market. They are really good. So good, I asked Simon if he would post his latest tip here on my blog.

I once had occasion to take a photograph of one part of the chemical plant I was responsible for, whilst preparing for a site open day.  I then took a look at the photo whilst sitting in the office later that day and it’s fair to say I was less than impressed!

The photograph showed an extruder, a key piece of process equipment, which I looked at at least once a day as I walked through the plant.  What amazed me was how dirty, untidy and generally uncared for the equipment and it’s general area looked in the photograph.  As I examined the photo I realised that by viewing the extruder in this way, whilst sitting in my office, I was seeing it (or even looking at it) as a visitor might do when viewing it for the first time.  It certainly wasn’t the impression of our operation I wanted to give my friends and family, let alone the local community!

Needless to say, a review of the maintenance and housekeeping procedures associated with that area followed, however this made me think about the concept of ‘Visitors eyes’

In my mind Visitor’s eyes can be quite powerful in two distinct ways:

• As in the case above, they will see things that everyday familiarity either prevents us from seeing or makes us complacent to.  A different perspective can very often lead to a different awareness and a step change in performance.
• Alternatively they can bring our attention to things that we were completely unaware of.  Visitor’s eyes can often hold up the metaphorical mirror and provide feedback about things that to the outsider are quite obvious but to us are completely new information.  Armed with this new information we can decide to make important changes to the ‘status quo’.

To my mind the Visitor’s eye view, be it literal or metaphorical, will provide insights which can yield benefits to businesses when considering any of:-  Physical facilities, Business Processes, Personal Behaviours / Leadership style.

How could you or your business benefit from a pair of Visitor’s eyes?

Simon Howarth
Director

Quite recently, the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Conflict Issues was commended by Henry Bellingham MP, Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office “one of the most important groups in Parliament.” That says a great deal about the energy and commitment of those who have contributed to building a strong platform for embedding conflict resolution within government policy.

The group has run a number of very interesting meetings over the last few years including a remarkable series of conversations between young Israelis and Palestinians about the world they want in 2031. I was very honoured to be asked to facilitate the joint conversation between the two groups in July this year. It was the first time such a conversation had happened in the Houses of Parliament.

Their next event is scheduled for Wednesday 12 October 2011 and if you live in or around London, you might wish to attend what is sure to be a very interesting evening hearing from Fambul Tok International. There will be a showing of an excerpt of their award winning documentary. (trailer below)

For security reasons, please contact the Secretariat by email to secure a place.

Here is the invitation:
You are cordially invited to a joint meeting of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Conflict Issues,

The Forgiveness Project and Fambul Tok International

HEALING FROM WAR – promoting reconciliation in Sierra Leone

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Macmillan Room, Portcullis House, Houses of Parliament

7.30-9.30pm

Chair: TBC

Victims and perpetrators of Sierra Leone’s brutal civil war are coming together for the first time in a remarkable programme of tradition-based truth-telling and forgiveness ceremonies. Through reviving the cultural practice of Fambul Tok (Krio for ‘family talk’), over the last three years Sierra Leoneans have been building sustainable peace at the grassroots level and are beginning to see significant development benefits – succeeding where the international community’s post-conflict efforts have often struggled to have a durable impact.

This meeting will show an excerpt of the new award-winning documentary on Fambul Tok, followed by a brief presentation from two activists involved in Fambul Tok on the ground:

Paramount Chief Alfred Banya – Chair of Fambul Tok’s Moyamba District Executive Committee

Micheala Ashwood – National Coordinator of Fambul Tok’s growing network of peace mothers’ groups

The meeting will be an opportunity for participants to learn more about Fambul Tok and to discuss what is arguably the most neglected dimension of what those engaged in post-conflict peace-building call ‘transitional justice’ – the reconciliation dimension.

RSVP: appgci2[at]gmail[dot]com

The entrance to Portcullis House is on Embankment, around the corner from Westminster tube station. We strongly suggest that you allow (at least) 15 minutes to get through security. A Fambul Tok representative will be at the entrance to provide assistance if needed.

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Background Notes:

In 2010 Fambul Tok International was created to deepen the reach and effectiveness of the Fambul Tok programme across Sierra Leone, and to explore the possibility of future co-operation with those who share its goals and values elsewhere in sub-Saharan Africa and beyond. Fambul Tok now operates in five of Sierra Leone’s 14 districts and works with over 2000 grass-roots volunteers.

A film about the programme, called Fambul Tok, had its world premiere at SXSW film festival in Austin, Texas, in March, and has been screening since then at festivals and in theaters around the world.  Fambul Tok received the Human Spirit Award and Honorable Mention for Best Documentary at the Nashville Film Festival; won Best Documentary at the Fort Myers Film Festival and Best of the Fest at the Global Social Change Film Festival in Bali. The film was also honored with the SIGNIS Award at the Zanzibar International Film Festival.

Want to learn more? Check out the Fambul Tok website  or Facebook page.

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Secretariat, APPG on Conflict Issues

www.conflictissues.org.uk

The Secretariat to the APPGCI is provided by Engi, a social venture that aims to further effective, non-violent conflict management by strengthening links between peace-building and Parliament, government, civil society and the private sector. www.engi.org.uk