We all know how stressful mediations can be for the parties and their lawyers and there is always something of a dip around 4pm. Here is my “technique” for shifting the mood and most of all acknowledging that there is a dip in energy and optimism.

I carry a bunch of these amazing chocolate bars from New Zealand. The chocolate is delicious and the humour is welcome.

The instructions on the Emergency Chocolate read: For immediate relief of: chocolate cravings, lovesickness, exam pressure, mild anxiety and extreme hunger. Directions for use: Tear open wrapper, break off desired dosage and consume. Alternatively massage into the affected area. Repeat dosage as required until finished. If symptoms persist consult your local confectioner.

Marvelous for mediators too!

Readers of my blog and articles will know that I mediate and train from a “strengths” perspective. This is the joy of mediation: we can each operate as a mediator in a way that uses the best of our talents and experience and the outcomes are good and different. It is also the reason why I write so frequently about not putting mediation skills into a box too early in the development of the profession. I know 25 years might seem a long time but in truth it is a nanosecond in terms of understanding what we do and how we do it well. I am reminded of something that made a great impression on me when I learned it:  95% of our understanding of the brain has come from research undertaken in the last 10 years. Positive psychology is a result of that research.

What “working from strengths” means to my practice is that I try and find the strengths of all the people in the mediation room and support them in doing what they can do best so they can win. Winning means different things to different people.

One of the leaders in the field of strengths is Dr Alex Linley. he has developed a new and very entertaining test to decide your Pleasure Quotient.  Magnum Ice Cream have packaged the test into an interactive web site experience. It is fun, the site is visually gorgeous and the test is based on pioneering research. FAB. Don’t be taken in by the fun element. This is a serious piece of work and I find it very clever indeed. See what you think.  Off to buy my Magnum now… and then I’ll tell you why I think strengths are so important for your business.

My thanks to Des O’Dowd for sharing the link.

Alternatives in St James offer many interesting talks and workshops. There are several on the programme for the next couple of months that might interest mediators and others. Last year I heard William Ury speak. He was promoting his book “The Power of Positive No.” And yes! I do have a signed copy. Obviously these talks are designed as tasters and frequently good speakers over deliver on the content. They are very good value as you might imagine so you can risk being curious without breaking the bank!

This one is also likely to be very interesting.

Monday 18 May 7pm – 8.30pm
Cost £10

Venue: St James’s Church
197 Piccadilly
London
W1J 9LL

Andrew Cohen and Rupert Sheldrake in conversation

Rupert Sheldrake is a biologist and the author of more than 75 technical papers and nine books. He studied natural sciences at Cambridge and philosophy at Harvard and was a Fellow of Clare College, Cambridge, where he was director of studies in biochemistry and cell biology. His most recent book is The Sense of Being Stared At and Other Aspects of the Extended Mind (Hutchinson, 2003). In 1999 his book, Dogs That Know When Their Owners Are Coming Home and Other Unexplained Powers of Animals, was the winner of the British Scientific and Medical Network Book of the Year Award.

Andrew Cohen, spiritual teacher, cultural critic, revolutionary idealist, and founder of award-winning EnlightenNext magazine, is dedicated to inspiring as many as possible to be responsible for the greatest task there is—evolving consciousness and creating a new culture together. He has been teaching for over 20 years, and has a network of students and centres that span the globe.

Link to Alternatives site for further information

There are also a number of free podcasts including an interview with the co-founder of NLP Richard Bandler.

In an article I wrote for the CIArb International Journal of Arbitration, Mediation and Dispute Management called The ‘Everywhen’ Mediator, I likened being a mediator to being a photographer.

Mediators and photographers are both “looking for the detail that makes the picture; looking for the point of balance which is a reconciliation between several elements; reframing; editing; putting people at ease within a context that shows them off to their best advantage. If you get all these right then any shortcomings on the technical side fade away.”

One of the observations I made from my research data is that a very high proportion of the top mediators that I interviewed for my research also had a creative strength: singing, music, art, cooking, dancing, there were many. This insight took me down a path of enquiry which revealed substantive evidence of a link between creative pursuits and excellent mediation/negotiation skills. More on this topic shortly…

In the meantime, here are a few photos from London taken on Sunday 6 April during a wonderful snow fall!