The 4th CIArb Mediator Symposium is coming up on 19th October in London. Past events have been extremely popular because of the combination of thoughtful opinion, a choice of 6 practical workshops and networking.

This year I will be doing two workshops which are really focused on extending skills.

The first is The Myth of Reality Testing with Charles Middleton-Smith. The arises from a number of observations: the way in which we simplify things in the pursuit of ‘tools for the toolbox’ and misconstrue the intention: increased resistance from parties to what we call reality testing and the observation that mediations are taking longer to settle and it is tempting for mediators to use what we call reality testing with some force. I realise this is a ‘holy cow’ of mediation!

The second is Improvisation Skills for Mediators with Sartaj Garewal. I have written often on the relationship of mediation to jazz, music, photography and the benefit of adopting some of the approaches that musicians and actors learn to extend their skills. I was very fortunate to learn some of these skills from a master of improvisation, the late Ken Campbell. Sartaj Garewal is a popular actor who has also worked with me on other mediation projects. Concurrently with his acting commitments, he offers coaching in presentation and performance skills.

Here are the descriptions and if you are interested in attending, you can see the full programme here and you can register online here.

The Myth of Reality Testing:

This workshop proposes that reality testing as a means of engaging the parties in a desire to settle the case is a myth and that the approaches generally practised by mediators in the name of reality testing can undermine successful outcomes. Drawing on insights from practical experience and research in the fields of behavioural science, neuroscience and psychology, we explore the relevance of mediator skill and experience, commercial, economic and political contexts and how and why the pursuit of tools for the toolbox and techniques to be deployed has reduced reality testing to something which is increasingly counter-productive.

The workshop examines the proposition through examples and discussion. Participants will have the opportunity to complete exercises to develop their personal style for exploring assumptions and effective risk assessment.

Improvisation Skills for Mediators

Prepare, prepare, prepare! Have a plan, give the parties structure and always be at the ready to think of a new plan!

The only thing a mediator can be certain of is that the mediation day will be a day of uncertainty and surprises. Not all of them welcome.

The art of improvisation is extremely useful for mediators. It is the capacity to build on whatever is presented to you to keep momentum and maintain a safe environment. Looking “where you are going” and responding in the moment is the nature of improvisation. Leaning into uncertainty, managing your responses and maintaining equilibrium or ‘deliberate calm’ helps bring a feeling of comfort to the parties. That capacity is also the mark of an experienced mediator.

This workshop is predominantly ‘hands on’ to help you improve your skills and confidence: skills you can use tomorrow.

Amanda and Sartaj will reprise active listening, reframing and rapport building skills. The workshop offers you an opportunity to recalibrate and expand your understanding and effective practice of those skills, in the moment.

This evening I joined Tammy Lenski, Diane Levin and Jeff Thompson in the second of our Cafe Mediate conversations. We had a lively and fun debate round “what makes a great mediator?”

Thanks to all for some great insights and raising some interesting questions.You can find more of their thinking and ideas on their blogs.

For some further thoughts and perspectives on what makes a great mediator, I recommend IBA Survey Results posted at The Mediator Magazine penned by journalist Matt Rushton and my own research available from the archives on this blog Part 1 and Part 2.

I hope you enjoy the podcast. It lasts about 30 minutes. You will also find our first conversation Value-Based Billing which looks at how we might reconfigure the way we charge for mediation to reflect more closely and more clearly the value that mediation brings.

I tested the recipe on a friend who challenged me to make a hot chocolate she would like!

The only link with mediation I can think of for this one is “preparation”!

This recipe takes a little time and the right ingredients. For anyone with a cold, the chili and cinnamon will help you feel better!

• Measure out a cup of organic milk. Pour into a small sauce pan.

• Add a bay leaf, 10 black pepper corns slightly crushed/bruised, half a fresh chili, half a cinnamon stick and a few drops of real vanilla essence.

• Bring to the boil and turn off the heat. Leave for an hour to cool. Strain. Put milk back into pan.

• Add 75g of really good quality dark chocolate and allow to melt. Using a small whisk, blend well. Heat to just below boiling – do not allow to boil. If it is not like thick cream add more chocolate.

• Pour into small cup (there should be enough for at least two) or one big cup if you are not in sharing mode.

• Sit somewhere where you will not be disturbed. Sip slowly and wait for the grin to appear. Notice that the gentle heat from the chili builds slowly with each sip.

• DO NOT get on the scales for at least a week afterwards.

Thanks to Paul Holmes (and @tpholmes) for flagging on his site this video as one of his favourites. It was too good for just a link…

Chuck – the rapping SEO guru

This weekend I attended a wonderful guitar concert in a small village hall tucked away in the Yorkshire countryside. Eduardo Niebla and Carl Herring. The style was a mixture of Flamenco, Jazz and World and the playing was outstanding from both.

During the playing I noticed something very special: The younger less experienced player (Carl Herring) was doing a remarkable job of playing “second fiddle” to the maestro. He was gracious and respectful to the more experienced “star”. Furthermore, the tension created by the restraint added something very special to the music and the performance of both artists. They played superbly together. There was plenty of room for two personalities to shine but there was only room for one ego.

It put me in mind of the challenge to many of peer review,  co-mediation and mentoring and how few “senior mediators” really take that seriously. I understand why at least for the most part. Co-mediation is seen as an expensive option even though it is a superb option for the parties and pays dividends on the investment when done well. Peer review is simply scary for most and very few reviewers have a structured or substantial approach which gives the reviewed concrete outcomes. Mentoring is a serious commitment which should not be taken lightly or when the diary is over full. However, I have heard many speak of the “apprentice from hell”. These are just-trained-mediators who believe they are now certified and therefore no longer have to hold back. So, if you are an aspiring mediator and you would like to see the best at work then you will need to convey to your chosen “star” a sense of certainty that you will not wade in with your 20+ years experience as a lawyer and 40 hours foundation training in mediation.

Over the years I have often been the more experienced mediator in the room playing second to another and I find it a remarkable experience with a really valuable quality about it. It helps sharpens my skills in observation, strategy and improves my ability to invisibly support a trusted colleague and that is something I can take with me into the next mediation as part of the skill of demonstrating even-handedness.

In anticipation of the clamour about the need for high standards in training and the need for proper professional development, over the last 6 months I have consulted with my colleagues in my chambers (In Place of Strife – The Mediation Chambers) about a radically new CPD programme which proposes 210 hours of CPD in a 3 year cycle. This is an extraordinary amount of cpd when you think that the SRA require solicitors to complete 16 hours per year and the Bar Standards Board require 12 hours per year after an initial qualifying period after call.

The new programme is designed to encourage a two way flow of learning and development and places a high value on reflective practice and mentoring of aspiring mediators.

• active learning – eg. attending training and cpd events
• reflective learning – eg. writing, contributing to the development of mediation practice, retreats, marketing (yes marketing!), business development
• reflective practice – eg. peer reviews, mentoring, co-mediation with post mediation reviews and playing “second fiddle” to a junior mediator
• contribution to the profession – eg. speaking engagements (more points when you speak outside the profession), attendance at board meetings or participation in organisational activities dedicated to mediation

The full programme will be published shortly on the In Place of Strife web site. Drop me a line if you would like to know when it is published.