The 4th CIArb Mediator Symposium is coming up on 19th October in London. Past events have been extremely popular because of the combination of thoughtful opinion, a choice of 6 practical workshops and networking.

This year I will be doing two workshops which are really focused on extending skills.

The first is The Myth of Reality Testing with Charles Middleton-Smith. The arises from a number of observations: the way in which we simplify things in the pursuit of ‘tools for the toolbox’ and misconstrue the intention: increased resistance from parties to what we call reality testing and the observation that mediations are taking longer to settle and it is tempting for mediators to use what we call reality testing with some force. I realise this is a ‘holy cow’ of mediation!

The second is Improvisation Skills for Mediators with Sartaj Garewal. I have written often on the relationship of mediation to jazz, music, photography and the benefit of adopting some of the approaches that musicians and actors learn to extend their skills. I was very fortunate to learn some of these skills from a master of improvisation, the late Ken Campbell. Sartaj Garewal is a popular actor who has also worked with me on other mediation projects. Concurrently with his acting commitments, he offers coaching in presentation and performance skills.

Here are the descriptions and if you are interested in attending, you can see the full programme here and you can register online here.

The Myth of Reality Testing:

This workshop proposes that reality testing as a means of engaging the parties in a desire to settle the case is a myth and that the approaches generally practised by mediators in the name of reality testing can undermine successful outcomes. Drawing on insights from practical experience and research in the fields of behavioural science, neuroscience and psychology, we explore the relevance of mediator skill and experience, commercial, economic and political contexts and how and why the pursuit of tools for the toolbox and techniques to be deployed has reduced reality testing to something which is increasingly counter-productive.

The workshop examines the proposition through examples and discussion. Participants will have the opportunity to complete exercises to develop their personal style for exploring assumptions and effective risk assessment.

Improvisation Skills for Mediators

Prepare, prepare, prepare! Have a plan, give the parties structure and always be at the ready to think of a new plan!

The only thing a mediator can be certain of is that the mediation day will be a day of uncertainty and surprises. Not all of them welcome.

The art of improvisation is extremely useful for mediators. It is the capacity to build on whatever is presented to you to keep momentum and maintain a safe environment. Looking “where you are going” and responding in the moment is the nature of improvisation. Leaning into uncertainty, managing your responses and maintaining equilibrium or ‘deliberate calm’ helps bring a feeling of comfort to the parties. That capacity is also the mark of an experienced mediator.

This workshop is predominantly ‘hands on’ to help you improve your skills and confidence: skills you can use tomorrow.

Amanda and Sartaj will reprise active listening, reframing and rapport building skills. The workshop offers you an opportunity to recalibrate and expand your understanding and effective practice of those skills, in the moment.

Denise Wakeman speaker at the Mediation Business Summit

If you search for “how to build a business blog” then the very first site listed on Google.com is www.buildabetterblog.com a blog hosted by Denise Wakeman. I’m not surprised because Denise has been practising what she preaches for a very long time. In fact, Denise has (at least) three blogs: Biz Tips Blog , Build a Better Blog and Denise Wakeman – The Blog Squad . Each has a different focus and each is crammed with useful content which can be easily assimilated and implemented by the newcomer and the experienced blogger alike.

I am in awe of how frequently and consistently Denise posts savvy and engaging ideas about building your online presence through blogging and how to build your blog through integration with Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. When you read what she writes on any of these platforms, you soon get a sense of her energy, credibility and her personality.

I am sure these are qualities that every mediator and ADR professional would like to be known for, online and offline. Denise says that blogging is the one way you can present a public persona that is ‘congruent and authentic’ and then she tells you how to do that.

Dig a little deeper into Denise’s online presence and you will find a great ebook produced by the Personality Project called Women of Personality. A Compilation of 40 Extraordinary Women Sharing Their Stories of Success. It is now in its second edition and Denise is featured as one of the 40 extraordinary women. In the book, Denise talks about how she is naturally a ‘behind the scenes person’ and that until she started her own business, that was the way she liked it. I remembered how ‘behind the scenes’ I liked to be when I started out in my own business, and like Denise, I instinctively jumped on the internet when there were not so many people to talk to, very few had an email address and all we had was a shaky 56k modem. Like her, I just knew this internet thing was a place I wanted to be.

Looking back, I started blogging via telex in 1984, with a weekly newsletter and analysis about my industry and it allowed me to “get in front of” influential people in my organisation without the scary part. Looking back, it worked and probably because I thought it was only being read by a few people that I knew very well. I had no idea that people were distributing it much more widely and if I had I probably would have clammed up! Just occasionally, ignorance is bliss.

Today it’s different. The ‘noise’ out there is much greater and for some starting out or looking to take their business to the next level it can be overwhelming. So much so, some people just don’t know where to start. One of the challenges is personal marketing and branding.

In starting her own business Denise realised that

Being the sole person in my business put me in a new position. I had to be “out there”. And the internet helped me do that. I wasn’t shy online.

I think many of us feel shy about marketing ourselves. It is so much easier to do it for others! Marketing is the number one challenge I talk about with people who contact me wanting to know how I managed to build my practice. The good news is that the social media tools that we have today allow you to do both: market yourself and market others.

It is one thing to read what people write and to get a sense of their expertise and the effectiveness of their advice and experience. It is even better to hear them for yourself. That’s why Tammy Lenski and I have brought together our choice of the best and most relevant  business management, marketing and social media voices from inside and outside the dispute resolution world. This is our selection of people who have impressed us with their energy, credibility and personality and who know how to communicate their expertise in a way which is relevant for building a successful conflict resolution practice.

The Mediation Business Summit is accessible via web and telephone from 16 – 18 September 2010.

If you haven’t signed up yet, then you are missing out on some great free gifts to get you started. There are two from Denise: an audio chapter from her renowned programme: How Drive Quality Traffic to Your Blog ($97 value) and a bonus chapter with 19 specific tactics for driving traffic to your blog. These will be available to you as soon as you have completed the sign up process. And you can grab your badge too.

See you at the summit!

Mediation Business Summit 16 - 18 September 2010

Photo by Darwin Bell

In the latest episode of Cafe Mediate, Tammy Lenski, Jeff Thompson and I discuss the nature of isolation in our practice of mediation and dispute resolution.

It is apparent from the laughter we share and the descriptions of “isolation” that any isolation we experience is more solitude as part of independence than loneliness.  A solitude that comes from a conscious choice for our independent practice in matters that are confidential.

Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.

Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experiencing the beauty of nature. Thinking and creativity usually do too.

Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from a state of inner richness. It is a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings that is satisfying and from which we draw sustenance. It is something we cultivate. Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to renew ourselves. In other words, it replenishes us. Psychology Today

Our work involves being with people (often large groups) who need us to be totally focused on them , very calm with lots of energy to manage long days. Solitude is a positive part of the way we work and it seems we all have strategies for making sure that the balance is right and that we have peers and close colleagues to share important conversations.

I am sure some of our speakers at the Mediation Business Summit will be addressing the nature of isolation in being an entrepreneur.

Does the Patriot Act Violate Free Speech?

This short radio article which I found on the NPR web site brings to light a very important question in how far any government should take security measures before they become fundamentally self-defeating and destructive. The text of the article is available here.

The essence of the article, which refers to the nuances of The Patriot Act and only relevant in the USA, is that if an organisation is blacklisted by the State then anyone assisting the organisation, which would include conflict resolution training or expert assistance that meets a need of the organisation, the providers of that assistance would be committing a crime.

The issues that this article raises for me are that engaging in conversation to bring about a resolution to a problem (big or not so big) is still fundamentally alien to politicians and others.

Paradoxically, and a point made in the article, it is precisely such conversations which have brought about improvements and positive change: Northern Ireland is a good example but there are many others and many that we don’t hear about. As much as Tony Blair would like to be remembered for his work in Northern Ireland, many would point to the sustained efforts of small community projects, cross-denominational groups, conflict resolution training and, dare I say, the women (including the incredible Mo Mowlam), who really brought about sustained change and understanding.

When the people of the world experience or perceive a lack of abundance, there you will find conflict. A nice Western word for it might be competition and given that we are running out of a lot of things we take for granted and many people are seeing the economic conditions as a serious threat to their own abundance, there lies potential for a lot of “competition”.

So, if we can’t talk to people and you can’t teach them to talk to each other or provide expert skills to help them resolve competing interests, because they have been blacklisted by the state, then I guess we’ll have to shoot them!

On a happily ironic note and from the same web site, a wonderful interview with the Dalai Lama with a noteworthy comment on the future of the institution of Dalai Lama and with reference to the thought that China might try and install its own choice of Dalai Lama. His Holiness says:

If people feel that the Dalai Lama institution is no longer much relevant, then this institution will cease — no problem. It looks like the Chinese are more concerned about this institution than me.

And he chuckles in a way that just makes you smile.

Dalai Lama: Committed to Promoting Human Value

In an ideal business world I would ban meeting rooms especially those which are in the bowels of buildings or those with no natural light.

In an ideal mediation world, I would definitely ban mediation suites with their “hearing” rooms and “retiring” rooms. I might be more enthusiastic if they were called “listening” rooms. I do know that the very last thing I want is for parties to feel “retiring”  in their own private space! As I am unlikely to reverse the trend for hearing rooms and retiring rooms for the foreseeable future, I would like to at least make a case for something more effective.

Rousseau in a walking pose in a garden

I really don’t believe that people can think creatively when they are confined to a box. I know how I do my own thinking and I find I get to where I need to be much quicker and arguably better, if I go for a walk.

When I came across a post by Craig Mod, a photographer based in Tokyo, I realised that others were having the same thoughts.  In his post about his photography adventure at moonrise at the top of a mountain in Annapurna he talks of the same and revives a glorious quote by Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I can only meditate when I am walking. When I stop, my mind ceases to think; my mind only works with my legs.

I know there is always a little “bottom wriggling in the chair” whenever the word meditate is in the same conversation as mediate, but I think we just have to get over it and accept that there is so much that each share in practice and in theory. There is some hope on that I have noticed the term “mindfulness” is increasingly used in connection with both the law and mediation. I direct you to some wonderful resources at Stephanie West Allen’s blog.

The quote says it all. I know that the best resolutions to the most difficult mediations I have done have often turned on a walk in the garden, either with one of the parties or when the parties have gone for a walk together and even when I have been for a walk on my own. One of the most satisfying mediations took place in Regent’s Park between two CEOs, one who was adamant he would not mediate because he could not spend all day in a sunless room. For some reason I countered that we didn’t have to hold the meeting in sunless rooms, there was nothing stopping us meeting in the park. He didn’t believe that I could arrange it (and to be fair neither did I!) but fortunately for me his counterpart was willing if not intrigued.

All the meetings, joint and private, were actually walks around the lake. It was the only way I could manage privacy! We started at 10am and we were eating a picnic at 12.30 with a settlement signed.

It was an unusual situation but I still advocate incorporating any elements of a garden or nature in the choice of venue for meetings that require clarity, thinking and creativity. Natural daylight is a must. A garden, park or courtyard close by is important and even pictures of landscapes, seascapes and “views” are better than some of the angry abstract art that is often found in meeting rooms.

Thanks Craig. Firstly for writing about your insight and thank you for reminding me of the Latin for this solvitur ambulando – “it is solved by walking”. Marvellous! Makes a wonderful change from argumentum ad hominem.