The 4th CIArb Mediator Symposium is coming up on 19th October in London. Past events have been extremely popular because of the combination of thoughtful opinion, a choice of 6 practical workshops and networking.

This year I will be doing two workshops which are really focused on extending skills.

The first is The Myth of Reality Testing with Charles Middleton-Smith. The arises from a number of observations: the way in which we simplify things in the pursuit of ‘tools for the toolbox’ and misconstrue the intention: increased resistance from parties to what we call reality testing and the observation that mediations are taking longer to settle and it is tempting for mediators to use what we call reality testing with some force. I realise this is a ‘holy cow’ of mediation!

The second is Improvisation Skills for Mediators with Sartaj Garewal. I have written often on the relationship of mediation to jazz, music, photography and the benefit of adopting some of the approaches that musicians and actors learn to extend their skills. I was very fortunate to learn some of these skills from a master of improvisation, the late Ken Campbell. Sartaj Garewal is a popular actor who has also worked with me on other mediation projects. Concurrently with his acting commitments, he offers coaching in presentation and performance skills.

Here are the descriptions and if you are interested in attending, you can see the full programme here and you can register online here.

The Myth of Reality Testing:

This workshop proposes that reality testing as a means of engaging the parties in a desire to settle the case is a myth and that the approaches generally practised by mediators in the name of reality testing can undermine successful outcomes. Drawing on insights from practical experience and research in the fields of behavioural science, neuroscience and psychology, we explore the relevance of mediator skill and experience, commercial, economic and political contexts and how and why the pursuit of tools for the toolbox and techniques to be deployed has reduced reality testing to something which is increasingly counter-productive.

The workshop examines the proposition through examples and discussion. Participants will have the opportunity to complete exercises to develop their personal style for exploring assumptions and effective risk assessment.

Improvisation Skills for Mediators

Prepare, prepare, prepare! Have a plan, give the parties structure and always be at the ready to think of a new plan!

The only thing a mediator can be certain of is that the mediation day will be a day of uncertainty and surprises. Not all of them welcome.

The art of improvisation is extremely useful for mediators. It is the capacity to build on whatever is presented to you to keep momentum and maintain a safe environment. Looking “where you are going” and responding in the moment is the nature of improvisation. Leaning into uncertainty, managing your responses and maintaining equilibrium or ‘deliberate calm’ helps bring a feeling of comfort to the parties. That capacity is also the mark of an experienced mediator.

This workshop is predominantly ‘hands on’ to help you improve your skills and confidence: skills you can use tomorrow.

Amanda and Sartaj will reprise active listening, reframing and rapport building skills. The workshop offers you an opportunity to recalibrate and expand your understanding and effective practice of those skills, in the moment.

Carol Roth’s new book The Entrepreneur Equation has just found a special place on my very small shelf of un-put-downable books. I have read it cover to cover and here is my one sentence take on it:

Carol Roth has achieved the impossible: she has made ‘pull no punches reality testing’ exciting and inspiring.

My home, office (and bedroom!) are full of books. Before you ask, yes! I have read them all. No, I don’t always get to the end of every single book although I do persist, sometimes past the point of complete energy drain in the hope that there is a point just around the corner.  Not so the Entrepreneur Equation.

Carol guides the reader through the building of the most important equation any aspiring business owner should try to (re)solve. She has also made it OK to say “running a business is not for me”. In a world where self-employed status is universally considered the holy grail of freedom and independence, which after 20 years I know it is not, it really had to be said in a way that people could relate to and without annihilating the spirit and motivation of the reader. After 20 years and three recessions, I have learned something new too!

What do I really like about the book?

• Carol approaches the subject just like you might approach reality testing in a mediation. You have to build the capacity for realisation with the parties and occasionally just say it like it is. Timing is everything. This book is quite simply a treasure trove of reality testing techniques.
• Carol builds trust from the first page. Not just through her credentials (which are impressive) but by telling great stories we might all recognise and relate to.
• She is American. The book is truly international. Not many business books have achieved that.
• It is absolutely relevant for mediators.
• This is the best book I have read on entrepreneurship and I am going to include it in course materials for trainee mediators on all future courses to support the sessions we do on building your practice.

It would have been easy to write the next ‘how to succeed in 10 easy steps’ but this is worth much, much more, especially if you are thinking about starting a business and equally if your existing business could do with a makeover.

Why is that so important? How is that consistent with her passion for building business? And mine too for that matter. Simply because a significant part of the world economy is in the hands of entrepreneurs and small business but progress will be exceedingly slow if over 90% of new businesses continue to fail within 5 years of startup.

You may not like everything you learn; you may be surprised at how you feel after completing her assessment of your motivations and resources to build your personal Entrepreneur Equation; you may even think she is painting a harsh picture of what it takes but you will thank her and you will not regret reading the book.

A special note for my colleagues: This is essential reading for mediators. So often, mediators miss the point: that when they start out in the business of being a mediator, they are starting out in a business. It seems obvious but obviously not if the emails I receive from many seeking help in getting their practice going are anything to go by! So many expect to be doing more of what they love doing/are good at. They don’t realise that it requires a whole new approach to life, work and the universe! There is no river of mediation work.

Carol has some great offers on the book and you should check out her site to pre-order the book which will be published on 22 March but you will have to hurry because the special offers are only valid until 18 February. I love the fact that international orders catered for. Well done Carol!

During this week Carol has pledged to match pre-orders with donations to Score to help them on their way to supporting 1 million new businesses by 2017.

And I love the doll so I have ordered mine and can’t wait for it to arrive.

There are times when you just don’t feel inspired to write. I have had a patch like that and so my blog has been a bit thin for new material.  Then I reconnected with someone I admire.

About 5 years ago I went to an evening seminar in London given by a guy name Nic Askew. I had come across a video of his on the web somewhere and really liked his unique way of making short films which brought out the real essence of a person. His style is both intense and gentle at the same time.  I can’t remember what made me decide to go – curiosity most likely since I am almost terminally curious!

Through his interviewing, camera and editing and his guitar playing, Nic brings an interesting tone to his film making. I hired him to do a video and it was very good. We lost touch but I found him again and he told me that he had moved to the States. I am really pleased to see his work is flourishing there and I want to share a couple of his recent films on two important concepts for mediators, coaches, and others. Curiosity and Non-Judgment.

The first features Seth Godin and the second David Roche. I think they are beautiful and moving films. What do you think?

Thanks Nic, for inspiring me to write again!

CURIOSITY from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

THE SECOND GLANCE from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

In September I am co-hosting the Mediation Business Summit with Tammy Lenski . We are really looking forward to it. We have some great small business coaches and consultants lined up to help conflict resolution professionals take their business to the next level.

I'm not very technical...

Since we announced the telesummit we have had a lot of questions about how it will work over the three days and some questions about using the teleseminar format. So we have decided to run a free demo and Q&A session on Wednesday 4th August where you can try it out and ask questions about the event.

Tammy and I think it will be a great opportunity to connect with anyone attending and anyone thinking about attending.

So head over to the Mediation Business Summit site to register for the free teleseminar.

Denise Wakeman speaker at the Mediation Business Summit

If you search for “how to build a business blog” then the very first site listed on Google.com is www.buildabetterblog.com a blog hosted by Denise Wakeman. I’m not surprised because Denise has been practising what she preaches for a very long time. In fact, Denise has (at least) three blogs: Biz Tips Blog , Build a Better Blog and Denise Wakeman – The Blog Squad . Each has a different focus and each is crammed with useful content which can be easily assimilated and implemented by the newcomer and the experienced blogger alike.

I am in awe of how frequently and consistently Denise posts savvy and engaging ideas about building your online presence through blogging and how to build your blog through integration with Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. When you read what she writes on any of these platforms, you soon get a sense of her energy, credibility and her personality.

I am sure these are qualities that every mediator and ADR professional would like to be known for, online and offline. Denise says that blogging is the one way you can present a public persona that is ‘congruent and authentic’ and then she tells you how to do that.

Dig a little deeper into Denise’s online presence and you will find a great ebook produced by the Personality Project called Women of Personality. A Compilation of 40 Extraordinary Women Sharing Their Stories of Success. It is now in its second edition and Denise is featured as one of the 40 extraordinary women. In the book, Denise talks about how she is naturally a ‘behind the scenes person’ and that until she started her own business, that was the way she liked it. I remembered how ‘behind the scenes’ I liked to be when I started out in my own business, and like Denise, I instinctively jumped on the internet when there were not so many people to talk to, very few had an email address and all we had was a shaky 56k modem. Like her, I just knew this internet thing was a place I wanted to be.

Looking back, I started blogging via telex in 1984, with a weekly newsletter and analysis about my industry and it allowed me to “get in front of” influential people in my organisation without the scary part. Looking back, it worked and probably because I thought it was only being read by a few people that I knew very well. I had no idea that people were distributing it much more widely and if I had I probably would have clammed up! Just occasionally, ignorance is bliss.

Today it’s different. The ‘noise’ out there is much greater and for some starting out or looking to take their business to the next level it can be overwhelming. So much so, some people just don’t know where to start. One of the challenges is personal marketing and branding.

In starting her own business Denise realised that

Being the sole person in my business put me in a new position. I had to be “out there”. And the internet helped me do that. I wasn’t shy online.

I think many of us feel shy about marketing ourselves. It is so much easier to do it for others! Marketing is the number one challenge I talk about with people who contact me wanting to know how I managed to build my practice. The good news is that the social media tools that we have today allow you to do both: market yourself and market others.

It is one thing to read what people write and to get a sense of their expertise and the effectiveness of their advice and experience. It is even better to hear them for yourself. That’s why Tammy Lenski and I have brought together our choice of the best and most relevant  business management, marketing and social media voices from inside and outside the dispute resolution world. This is our selection of people who have impressed us with their energy, credibility and personality and who know how to communicate their expertise in a way which is relevant for building a successful conflict resolution practice.

The Mediation Business Summit is accessible via web and telephone from 16 – 18 September 2010.

If you haven’t signed up yet, then you are missing out on some great free gifts to get you started. There are two from Denise: an audio chapter from her renowned programme: How Drive Quality Traffic to Your Blog ($97 value) and a bonus chapter with 19 specific tactics for driving traffic to your blog. These will be available to you as soon as you have completed the sign up process. And you can grab your badge too.

See you at the summit!

Mediation Business Summit 16 - 18 September 2010