I learned the power of a talking stick many years ago. It was one of the most important insights into good conversation I ever had. I have used one in mediations and I would like to use one more often – simply because it works every time. I know my colleague Alan Limbury in Australia will shout “here! here!” if he reads this. Alan has the most beautiful aboriginal talking stick which he takes with him everywhere. I have asked him to find me one just like it but I know they generally find their way to you, rather than the other way around! When the right one finds it’s way to me it might be made of cedar wood.

Here is a video of Dr Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) explaining why he thinks using a talking stick is amazing.

The latest brilliant cartoon from Charles Fincher at LawComix

How many of us have come across people who have ended up leading the ‘sleigh’ because they couldn’t get on within the ‘team’?

Charles, this is brilliant! For more great smiles and chuckles please see is wonderful site at LawComix

An article in The Scientist today has got me thinking. It is about a new discovery about the part of the brain that operates to achieve “goal-directed” actions. It says

“Exposure to chronic stress causes alterations in brain anatomy that may compel rats to rely too much on routine, even when a change in circumstances calls for a change in behavior.”

This development really interests me because it has significant implications for our understanding the behavior of parties at mediation and for understanding why mediators may become more evaluative or “expert” when stressed. I.e. default to expertise, techniques and approaches from a previous life in order to achieve “the goal” of settlement.

People typically had been thinking about chronic stress affecting circuits in the frontal cortex and circuits in the hippocampus. To look at the striatum, which controls a lot of our moment-by-moment behavior, is a really new direction.

and

Chronic stress can also result in other behavioral symptoms, such as deficits in memory or spatial navigation. These changes are believed to be triggered by the release of corticosteroids, causing neuronal reorganization, primarily in the hippocampus and medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC). When the researchers measured the volume and density of various brains structures in stressed and unstressed rats, they found several differences. Most notably, the prelimbic cortex (PL) of the mPFC and the dorsomedial striatum (DMS) — both implicated in goal-directed actions — were reduced in size in stressed rats, while the dorsolateral striatum (DLS) — necessary for habit formation — was enlarged, suggesting a neurological mechanism for how stress affected their behavior.

Have you ever forgotten what you were going to say at the end of a long mediation or lost your way to the bathroom?

The mediator adds considerable value to negotiations by encouraging and supporting the parties not to do what they might do on automatic pilot.  We can’t be stressed if we are to going to help them do something differently because we are for the most part in the moment-by-moment behavior mode managing the process appropriately for the benefit of the parties.

As far as mediators are concerned the research findings go some way to explaining why mediators can often default to language, approaches and interventions that they know better than the ones they learned on their mediator training course.

I am looking forward to hearing more about his development.

For those who would like to learn how to get out of a stressed state I can recommend emWave by HeartMath. The software and hardware allow you to see the effects of stress and provide immediate feedback so you can develop quick techniques to restore “coherence”. It is now available for Mac  as well as PC.

heart rhythm - stressed

heart rhythm - not stressed

software provides immediate feedback on techniques for developing coherence

I recommend an article on collaboration by Joseph Leary at www.emergentstory.com.

It was particularly relevant today.

I had three very frustrating conversations with genuinely helpful people at call centres about some (as I perceive it!) shortcomings in their companies’ service provision.  All three were genuine in their appreciation of my frustration. All three quoted “procedure”.  All three said they could do nothing about the underlying causes and it was hopeless telling anyone – they didn’t take any notice. One of them confided in me that he was so fed up with understanding the customer’s point of view and not being able to do anything about it that he was leaving before he became ill.

Putting aside my own frustration for a moment, for those who have the responsibility of dealing with customers and no authority to change things it is a recipe for stress and illness. The costs to them are significant, the hidden costs to their employers are equally significant in terms of staff turnover and absence due to sickness.

So will there be a revolution from the front line? Will the wisdom of the many triumph over the expertise of the few?  Will we ask the audience instead of phoning a friend?  Here’s an excerpt from his article about the changes that he sees coming.

• Attempts at “perfect” planning and execution will be replaced by rapid prototyping and feedback systems.
• The goal of management will change from the predictable permanence of procedure to the productive permanence of change.
• Employees will become providers; employers will become clients.
• Trials and feedback (scientific process) will replace conventional wisdom.
• Orders for change will come from the bottom, not the top.
• There will be no arbitrarily assigned “managers.” There will be self-assumed or appointed “directors,” “connectors,” and community “leaders.”
• There will be more questions than directions.
• By default, the answer to change is Yes. Evidence will be required to justify a “No.”
• The best providers will not be those who do what they are told the best; they will be who adapt the fastest, and produce the most efficiently.

Thanks to Anastasia Pryanikova at Lawsagna for the link to this great essay by Lera Boroditsky on how the language we speak affects the way we think.

I found the essay particularly interesting because language is something I pay special attention to when speaking or training in English, with people whose first language is not English. I know that I consciously change the way in which I speak in order to take into account what I know about the language and culture. When it concerns a language I don’t speak, then I pay attention to the symbols and stories of the culture in order to gain a sense of certain cues.

I pay equal attention when I am mediating and other languages are ‘in the room’ because it is an important part of building trust and rapport. Thanks to Lera’s research I now know better why that is useful and effective.

There is a balance because when people learn English they also learn our patterns of thought and idiosyncrasies and one can try too hard. How do I know that I have the balance right? When I can say something I think should be funny and people laugh.

Why does it matter? I find that when people have a different perspective on for example time and amount it affects the whole pace and emphasis of the negotiations. Sense of time is crucial to understanding the effect of events and actions that form part of the dispute and amount affects the perception of value.